I have spent a lot of time in my thoughts this last year. Trying too decide what I want too do with the rest of my life. I have tried getting out and meeting people and doing things, but I feel lost. Some how in the years I was a care giver for Jim. I lost something, and now I feel empty. My purpose in life is gone.
A friend of mine who lost her husband a couple of years ago. Says she is reinventing herself, and starting anew. My problem is who do I want too become. I don't know.
When I was younger life stretched endlessly onward, and I had loads of time too make things right. Plenty of time too do things. I thought I wanted too do, plenty of time for everything. Now? It is different.
I can come up with a long list of things I don't want. I don't want too move into another place.
I would like too date, but that list of who I want too date and what I want from a date is long. Most of what I don't want it seems too me is common sense. I will not date a person involved in drugs. I don't do drugs and I don't want too be around them. Drinking is alright, unless that person can't get through a day without drinking. I don't know how too meet someone new.
Sure I know you just have too put yourself out there, but where do you put yourself out there? It seems like everyone I know is years younger than me, and I don't expect some young guy too be interested in me. Nor do I think I would be interested in them.
Maybe the problem is that I am still feeling a little tender still from my lose of Jim.