Sunday, August 19, 2012

Rolled up the carpet.

Some times I think everyone has locked up and gone home. Then on the other hand it could be because I haven't been around for so long. Then it could be that everyone seems to be over on facebook. Not that I have all that many friends over there or write much on facebook.

I drove over too see my younger son today. He is at a special care center for people with disabilities. The kind of people that would wander off if not watched 24/7. It really is not a bad place, clean, small, and in a small town. That if you didn't keep an eye out for the signs saying what town it is, you could blow right through it in 5 min or less.  Little ways down from the care center is the Missouri river. That you can see when you turn into the drive at this place. My son says you can hear the river rushing bye and the sounds of the trains as they pass through town. Peaceful, small town, with country people running the place. People who seem too give a damn about the people in there care. I took him some of this things and some snacks. You know how guys are about food. He is no different in that respect. He was clean, shaved, and his hair was neat. That says a lot about the place.

I have been trying too get the yard cleaned up. It is once again a big mess. What with all of this damn hot weather, it has been impossible too get outside and take care of things. It also didn't help that this was the year of the flea's. Damn things were all over the place. Just about anyone that had a dog or cat, and maybe a few that didn't had too go too war with the things. I had a lawn service come and spray the yard, and treated the dogs, the house and just about everything around here including my truck and the car. It is a wonder that I didn't poison all of us including the dogs. The lawn service will be back out in the fall too treat again. Maybe I can get it under control for next. At least it seems like I have it under control.

I applied for my passport and I am waiting for it too arrive. Then I need too see if I can gather up some money too go some where interesting, and maybe even fun. I feel lonely sometimes, but really don't seem too know what too do about it. Once upon a time when I was young. It didn't seem to be a problem. I think sometimes, it is because I was married for so many years that I don't have a clue as too where anyone my age hangs out. Maybe most of them are just too old and sick too hang out anymore. Plus I think there is so many of us old women around, that if a healthy old guy showed up some where. You could get killed or injured in the stampede too grab the guy.


Wednesday, August 8, 2012


It has been months since I have posted here, but my thoughts of you who stay and write have often been in my thoughts. The

My younger son has been in and out of the hospital many times in the last nine months. I have or had been his guardian for these last seven years. Now I have had too let go of that and him. No he has not died, but has tried it more times then I wish too count. It has brought me much heartache and sadness. That I no longer can keep him safe. I no longer know what too  do. So I have given his care too the Public Administrators office. They have so many more resources and knowledge that I do not have at disposal. It has been very hard for me too let go, but it the best thing for him now. They can keep him safe and off the streets.

I have been working too rebuild my life. One would think that would be an easy project. The problem is all the years I spent caring for my son and Jim. If one is too have friends, you must attend too that friendship, and I just never had the time and sometimes not the well.

I have at least one very dear friend. She lost her husband a couple of years ago. The two of us have shared much over the years, and helped one another overcome some really rough spots in our lives. So on a happier note. We are off too see and do some things at the end of this month. A trip too see  her son's new baby and some time at a nice spa. Next year we are planning on a cruise.

My older son had helped a lot too. He has been here for me and I am most grateful. The two of us went on a float trip. Something that I never had the chance too do. It was a lovely experience floating down a beautiful clear river surrounded by green trees and high cliffs. So peaceful.

I don't know what normal is any longer for me and my life. I have always wanted too travel and believe that I should get on with it before I grow too old. My first step was too acquire my passport, which should be here in a few weeks. I am excited about having the freedom too go where ever I want in this vast world. Too see and do things I have always dreamed of doing.

When will I write again? I don't know. Know that you are in my thoughts.