Friday, December 16, 2011

Who am I?

I know that maybe a strange question, but so many things have changed in the last six months. That I have been thrown off balance. One I am no longer Jim's wife, or care giver. I am not a grandmother. I don't feel as old as my years. I have no idea where I am going and really what I want too do.

I know that I planned on traveling, but I can't seem to make any plans. It is hard for me just too make myself get out of the house. Then there is the question which I am sure is way too early to be even be thinking about, do I want a man in my life? My fear about that is being hurt. You get rather spoiled being married to one person so many years. It is so easy too take for granted that love, and them seeing you the way you like too be seen. I was really comfortable with Jim's perception of me.

I know the basic part of me is the same. Now though I am single, healthy, and I need something too keep me healthy. I really don't want too make emotional stupid mistakes. Right now my emotions are all over the place. One minute up the next minute weepy. What do I want? I want too be a strong, confident older woman.  Does any one have a guide book? Because at this point I could sure use one.



Dorrie said...

patience my dear, patience! If a new man is to enter your life he will, no need to search for someone. If it happens, it happens! Enjoy being single as long as you can!

and about traveling... hop in a plane and come over to my world!!

Roz said...

I wish I could just hop on a plane. I still have so much that needs too be done first. As for a man you are right if it is meant too be it will happen.


Silentwhisper1 said...

Oh Ros, how sweet it is to see you writing again-I've been out of the loop myself and need to do a lot of catching up wth you and my own writing.
So your rolling around in your head you might go back to school? Geez, Ros, that's the best idea! so much you can get out of taking a course here and there, not to mention meeting new people and building more confidence. I know you must feel like your right arm is cut off, without Jim, I know I'd feel like that! God knows..
I think you should go for it-I love the arts, well, anything to do wth the arts:)

Sending you my love and warm holiday hugs and piping hot coffee.
A late Xmas card to. Look out for it.((hugs)))

Roz said...

Always good too see you Dee. Hope all is well with you and yours. I bet that baby is growing really fast.