Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Jim doesn't live here anymore.

Some of you may already know that Jim passed away July 12Th. Tomorrow we have the funeral at the Leavenworth National Cemetery. My son Steven will give the eulogy for his father.Which seems so right on so many levels.

At times I feel sad, and at other times I am glad that all of this sickness and his suffering is done. I well move on with my life, because as we all know life is for the living. I will always hold Jim in my heart. I will cry for him, and I will raise my fist too the heavens and yell at him. I know that he left me better prepared than most. Worries about money and medical care are all taken care of for me. He wanted too make sure that I would be OK.

I know at times I will not be OK. I will learn too live alone and take charge of my life. It has been a journey for me. Some parts very happy, other parts very sad. Yet if you asked me would I have chosen some one else too make this journey with in this life? I would tell you no.

We had a bond between us, and we had a love that I could never have had with another man. It was always as if we were suppose too be with each other, and as strange as it may seem. Nothing could break us apart except his death. It is a rare thing too find what we had together. It is hard to explain too others. Because at times we hated each other, and at other times we loved each other so much it hurt. All of it was Jim and me. It was always about the two of us. Others can come and go in your life, but Jim mmm what can I say. I loved him.



Dorrie said...

I've been thinking about you lately and glad for this update. I could always read in your entries how much you cared for Jim and as you say, he is no longer suffering and that's a good thing. Take care sweety!!

becomingkate said...

Roz, I'm so sorry! Sending lots of love your way.

Fijufic said...

Ros -

I know that he will always be with you in spirit.
I wish I had the words to say. I am so sorry for your loss.

You are loved...



Silentwhisper1 said...

You brought tears to my eyes old frien
Although we are years apart-miles apart-I relate with you more and more. I feel you and understand fully.
In the end of the day its him-always him.
Now I imagine its you, your dogs, and family, not too mention the irony of your beautiful garden that on the worse of days continue on with its beauty. Odd how things don't falter and continue on. Remember that my dear friend,things continue on,and so shall you.

You'll need to remind me of this one day too, I'm sure:)

Lots of hugs for you. And good seeing you back here writing.Thought we lost you to facebook. Grins.